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Persuasive Essay about why Presence is the most important Leadership trait to me in the Leadership Requirement Model. Need help with revision and strong transitions between

Persuasive Essay about why Presence is the most important Leadership trait to me in the Leadership Requirement Model. Need help with revision and strong transitions between paragraphs. Check for Grammar error and make corrections.

In the introduction, briefly define each of the six (character, presence, intellect, leads, develops, achieves), then explain why presence matters most. It seems unstructured and a little long, but it could be clearer. Do the same with thesis. Also include a strong transition paragraph before going into the actual conclusion.

Add sources if you need to.

Must be 3-5 pages do not go over.